Post by David on Aug 25, 2010 12:01:05 GMT -5
Chapter 1: My trip begins with a bang.
Hi, my name is Dave and you know sometimes things just happen. We don’t know why they do or the meaning behind it, but they just do. A couple years ago I met the most amazing woman that would change my life forever. I can remember it like it was yesterday. She was so beautiful. The first time I laid eyes on her I felt like the whole room could see my mouth hit the floor. It was a life awakening experience. Let me explain.
I was a 46 year old washed up 80’s metal singer turned Real Estate Agent and she was a stunningly beautiful 19 year old Ballerina and college student. Not a likely pair huh?
Over the years as a musician I had made a lot of friends in the music industry so I had a lot of contacts for concert tickets and all kinds of other shows in the entertainment industry. A friend of mine (Randy) who was the sound technician for my Metal band (Metal Toyz) back in the 80’s had asked me to come out and visit him in a place called Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. He was running sound for a gig there close by. He had a sister that lived there so he was staying with her. I said “where the fuck is that” He laughed and said “It’s not far from Scranton”. I replied “why don’t we meet in New Jersey or something?” Randy said “ah come on dude I need to spend a couple days here with my sister. After that: we can head to New York if you want. Just get your ass here. I haven’t seen you in over a year.” I agreed.
Two days later on a cold Thursday morning: not knowing I was beginning a trip that would ultimately make me the happiest man alive, I caught a plane to Scranton. Once there, I would rent a car and drive to this Wilkes-Barre place. It started out as a typical flight. I boarded the plane saying to myself “please let me be sitting next to some hot super model instead of a big fat smelly guy that wants to tell me all about his chicken farm for the entire flight. That’s usually how it goes for me when I fly.
I find my seat and manage to find a spot for my bag. Both seats are empty. I take my seat by the window of course. I love the window seat on a plane. I’m like a little kid when I’m looking down from 10,000 feet and all the cars look like little ants going about their business gathering food for their queen. I then say to myself “cool, maybe I’ll have both seats to myself”. Of course I know that really won’t be the case. I look up to find this guy walking down: well not really walking, but nudging down the aisle looking at the seat numbers. He has to weigh at least 400 pounds wearing these huge bib overalls and the straps looked like they could snap at any moment. I close my eyes and keep repeating in my head “keep walking, keep walking, you don’t want to sit here”. I slowly open my eyes thinking he would be right there searching for a place to put his carry-on bag, but nope. He nudged on by and sat five seats ahead of me. “Yes” I said to myself and was doing the happy dance in my head. I then turn my head back down the aisle just in time to see this blonde bombshell walking down the aisle looking for her seat. She was wearing an extremely short leather skirt, ugly ass heels, and a low cut cheap tank top that showed off her gigantic obviously fake boobs. Ok, now I’m not a real big fan of the fake boobs. I very much prefer natural boobs no matter what the size, but hey: I’m not going to complain. Now I close my eyes once again and say to myself “please, please, let this be her seat right next to me”. With my eyes still closed I hear this voice saying “Hi, my name is Bambi. It looks like I’m sitting here next to you”. I excitedly open my eyes and replied back “Why yes, I guess you are. Hi Bambi, I’m Dave. Here, let me help you with your bag?” I had a huge smile on my face. I helped her with her bag and she sat down. Now she then began to talk non-stop about how she is an aspiring actress and a bunch of other crap that I just tried to block out. We hadn’t even taken off yet and I was thinking in my head “Excuse me Stewardess: Can I go up there and sit with that sweaty fat guy”. Now don’t get me wrong; she was beautiful to look at (in a sluty way), but to talk to her was another story all together. She had the personality of a fucking toad, and her voice began to be as annoying as a fly that won’t stop buzzing around your head. This was going to be a very excruciating flight.
I just sat there and tried to block out everything she was saying and would add an “uh huh” every few minutes. Well that worked well until I heard the words “you’re cute” and “I’ve always wanted to have sex on a plane”. Ok that grabbed my attention. OK, now I have a dilemma. On one hand: she is oh so annoying and on the other hand, she has a body that would make for a fun ride, and couple that with the fact that I’m always horny and now feeling kind of excited at the thought of having sex with her on the plane: I had a choice to make. I have never had sex on a plane either and have always wanted to. What a coincidence that she sits next to me on this flight. Can you see how I’m beginning to try to justify this in my own head? Unfortunately I was thinking with the wrong head. The justification process took about a total of 15 seconds and then I turned and replied “Oh really? I’ve always wanted to as well. We should do something about that”.
We then came up with a plan that she would get up and head to the bathroom at the back of plane and I would wait exactly 2 minutes, then head back there myself. I was to knock on the door 4 times. That part was my idea and then I thought to myself “I really hoped that she could count to 4”. I wait my 2 minutes on the nose and started my way back to the bathroom. I had to be foolish to think that the other passengers and stewardesses wouldn’t catch on to what was happening, but I didn’t care. My testosterone was taking over now. I get back there and as planned I give the door 4 quick knocks. There is a long pause, then I can hear her say “Dave is that you?” I think to myself “you have got to be kidding me”. I answer “yes it is”. There was an older couple sitting right there. I glanced over at them hoping that they didn’t hear that, but when they just smiled and the woman winked at me: I knew the jig was up. I just thought Ok, It’s too late to turn back now. I hear the click of the door unlocking and I open it just enough for me to squeeze through the door without anyone else being able to see in. Wow, It was a good thing I did that. When I got halfway through the door, she grabbed me by the shirt and yanked me the rest of the way in. Man, those bathrooms are small. “I don’t think they’re made for 2 people” I thought to myself. She was completely naked and immediately started to kiss me. I grabbed her, picked her up and sat her up on the sink and we proceeded to have some crazy not so quiet sex at 10,000 feet.
After we had finished I told her I thought we should exit the bathroom in the same fashion. I would go back to my seat first: she would wait 2 minutes then come out herself. I was dreading opening the door. I just know everyone heard something going on in there. I then quietly tried to sneak out unnoticed and head back to my seat. The older couple that was sitting there had the biggest smile on their faces. They were holding hands and the gentleman gave me a thumbs up. This was a very long somewhat embarrassing walk back to my seat. I finally made it back and sat down. I see the stewardess start to walk down the aisle and I tried not to make eye contact, but she walked right up to me, put her hand on my arm and said “Congratulations. Welcome to the club hun. I’ve done it 3 times myself. She smiled and then asked me if there was anything she could get me. I smiled and said “actually yes, Can I get a jack and coke?” She smiled and said “coming right up hun”. For a brief second I thought “Hey, that stewardess is kind of cute, hmmm maybe I should get her number”. That thought was interrupted by Bambi (if that’s really her name. I mean come on: who names their little girl Bambi unless you want her to grow up to be a stripper or a porn star) coming back to sit down. I think I must have worn her out because she sat back down said a few meaningless words and fell asleep for the rest of the flight. If I knew that’s what it took to shut her up we could have gone back there before the flight took off. I’m just being sarcastic of course. She was annoying though.
My flight landed, Bambi and I exchanged numbers and I started to get off the plane. Of course I had no intentions of calling her. You always walk right by the flight crew by the door on the way out and they always thank you for flying with them as you walk off the plane. That same cute stewardess that congratulated me earlier put her hand out to shake mine and said thanks for flying with us and placed a card in my hand. I looked at it when I got off the plane and low and behold, it was her phone number and it said “call me sometime” and had a little smiley face drawn next to it. Well that really turned out to be an interesting flight.
Hi, my name is Dave and you know sometimes things just happen. We don’t know why they do or the meaning behind it, but they just do. A couple years ago I met the most amazing woman that would change my life forever. I can remember it like it was yesterday. She was so beautiful. The first time I laid eyes on her I felt like the whole room could see my mouth hit the floor. It was a life awakening experience. Let me explain.
I was a 46 year old washed up 80’s metal singer turned Real Estate Agent and she was a stunningly beautiful 19 year old Ballerina and college student. Not a likely pair huh?
Over the years as a musician I had made a lot of friends in the music industry so I had a lot of contacts for concert tickets and all kinds of other shows in the entertainment industry. A friend of mine (Randy) who was the sound technician for my Metal band (Metal Toyz) back in the 80’s had asked me to come out and visit him in a place called Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. He was running sound for a gig there close by. He had a sister that lived there so he was staying with her. I said “where the fuck is that” He laughed and said “It’s not far from Scranton”. I replied “why don’t we meet in New Jersey or something?” Randy said “ah come on dude I need to spend a couple days here with my sister. After that: we can head to New York if you want. Just get your ass here. I haven’t seen you in over a year.” I agreed.
Two days later on a cold Thursday morning: not knowing I was beginning a trip that would ultimately make me the happiest man alive, I caught a plane to Scranton. Once there, I would rent a car and drive to this Wilkes-Barre place. It started out as a typical flight. I boarded the plane saying to myself “please let me be sitting next to some hot super model instead of a big fat smelly guy that wants to tell me all about his chicken farm for the entire flight. That’s usually how it goes for me when I fly.
I find my seat and manage to find a spot for my bag. Both seats are empty. I take my seat by the window of course. I love the window seat on a plane. I’m like a little kid when I’m looking down from 10,000 feet and all the cars look like little ants going about their business gathering food for their queen. I then say to myself “cool, maybe I’ll have both seats to myself”. Of course I know that really won’t be the case. I look up to find this guy walking down: well not really walking, but nudging down the aisle looking at the seat numbers. He has to weigh at least 400 pounds wearing these huge bib overalls and the straps looked like they could snap at any moment. I close my eyes and keep repeating in my head “keep walking, keep walking, you don’t want to sit here”. I slowly open my eyes thinking he would be right there searching for a place to put his carry-on bag, but nope. He nudged on by and sat five seats ahead of me. “Yes” I said to myself and was doing the happy dance in my head. I then turn my head back down the aisle just in time to see this blonde bombshell walking down the aisle looking for her seat. She was wearing an extremely short leather skirt, ugly ass heels, and a low cut cheap tank top that showed off her gigantic obviously fake boobs. Ok, now I’m not a real big fan of the fake boobs. I very much prefer natural boobs no matter what the size, but hey: I’m not going to complain. Now I close my eyes once again and say to myself “please, please, let this be her seat right next to me”. With my eyes still closed I hear this voice saying “Hi, my name is Bambi. It looks like I’m sitting here next to you”. I excitedly open my eyes and replied back “Why yes, I guess you are. Hi Bambi, I’m Dave. Here, let me help you with your bag?” I had a huge smile on my face. I helped her with her bag and she sat down. Now she then began to talk non-stop about how she is an aspiring actress and a bunch of other crap that I just tried to block out. We hadn’t even taken off yet and I was thinking in my head “Excuse me Stewardess: Can I go up there and sit with that sweaty fat guy”. Now don’t get me wrong; she was beautiful to look at (in a sluty way), but to talk to her was another story all together. She had the personality of a fucking toad, and her voice began to be as annoying as a fly that won’t stop buzzing around your head. This was going to be a very excruciating flight.
I just sat there and tried to block out everything she was saying and would add an “uh huh” every few minutes. Well that worked well until I heard the words “you’re cute” and “I’ve always wanted to have sex on a plane”. Ok that grabbed my attention. OK, now I have a dilemma. On one hand: she is oh so annoying and on the other hand, she has a body that would make for a fun ride, and couple that with the fact that I’m always horny and now feeling kind of excited at the thought of having sex with her on the plane: I had a choice to make. I have never had sex on a plane either and have always wanted to. What a coincidence that she sits next to me on this flight. Can you see how I’m beginning to try to justify this in my own head? Unfortunately I was thinking with the wrong head. The justification process took about a total of 15 seconds and then I turned and replied “Oh really? I’ve always wanted to as well. We should do something about that”.
We then came up with a plan that she would get up and head to the bathroom at the back of plane and I would wait exactly 2 minutes, then head back there myself. I was to knock on the door 4 times. That part was my idea and then I thought to myself “I really hoped that she could count to 4”. I wait my 2 minutes on the nose and started my way back to the bathroom. I had to be foolish to think that the other passengers and stewardesses wouldn’t catch on to what was happening, but I didn’t care. My testosterone was taking over now. I get back there and as planned I give the door 4 quick knocks. There is a long pause, then I can hear her say “Dave is that you?” I think to myself “you have got to be kidding me”. I answer “yes it is”. There was an older couple sitting right there. I glanced over at them hoping that they didn’t hear that, but when they just smiled and the woman winked at me: I knew the jig was up. I just thought Ok, It’s too late to turn back now. I hear the click of the door unlocking and I open it just enough for me to squeeze through the door without anyone else being able to see in. Wow, It was a good thing I did that. When I got halfway through the door, she grabbed me by the shirt and yanked me the rest of the way in. Man, those bathrooms are small. “I don’t think they’re made for 2 people” I thought to myself. She was completely naked and immediately started to kiss me. I grabbed her, picked her up and sat her up on the sink and we proceeded to have some crazy not so quiet sex at 10,000 feet.
After we had finished I told her I thought we should exit the bathroom in the same fashion. I would go back to my seat first: she would wait 2 minutes then come out herself. I was dreading opening the door. I just know everyone heard something going on in there. I then quietly tried to sneak out unnoticed and head back to my seat. The older couple that was sitting there had the biggest smile on their faces. They were holding hands and the gentleman gave me a thumbs up. This was a very long somewhat embarrassing walk back to my seat. I finally made it back and sat down. I see the stewardess start to walk down the aisle and I tried not to make eye contact, but she walked right up to me, put her hand on my arm and said “Congratulations. Welcome to the club hun. I’ve done it 3 times myself. She smiled and then asked me if there was anything she could get me. I smiled and said “actually yes, Can I get a jack and coke?” She smiled and said “coming right up hun”. For a brief second I thought “Hey, that stewardess is kind of cute, hmmm maybe I should get her number”. That thought was interrupted by Bambi (if that’s really her name. I mean come on: who names their little girl Bambi unless you want her to grow up to be a stripper or a porn star) coming back to sit down. I think I must have worn her out because she sat back down said a few meaningless words and fell asleep for the rest of the flight. If I knew that’s what it took to shut her up we could have gone back there before the flight took off. I’m just being sarcastic of course. She was annoying though.
My flight landed, Bambi and I exchanged numbers and I started to get off the plane. Of course I had no intentions of calling her. You always walk right by the flight crew by the door on the way out and they always thank you for flying with them as you walk off the plane. That same cute stewardess that congratulated me earlier put her hand out to shake mine and said thanks for flying with us and placed a card in my hand. I looked at it when I got off the plane and low and behold, it was her phone number and it said “call me sometime” and had a little smiley face drawn next to it. Well that really turned out to be an interesting flight.